


Mishaps in Airports

by merryghoul



Category: Burn Notice
Genre: 5+1 Things, Airports, Community: trope_bingo, Missing Scene, Multi, Road Trips, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-23
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-09 17:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1149065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merryghoul/pseuds/merryghoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five things that went wrong during the trip from Miami to Caracas in "Company Man," and the one thing that went right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. [opening quote]

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: road trips

_"Guys, welcome to Caracas.  How was the flight?"_

_"Which one?"_

_"It would've been better if we hadn't been routed through Turkey."_

_"And Spain.  And Costa Rica.  And if they had peanuts."_

\--Exchange between Max, Michael, Fiona and Sam at Hotel Quijote, Caracas


	2. Miami International Airport

"We're going to Turkey? I thought we were going to Caracas!"

"We _are_ going to Caracas, Fi," Michael said.  Max wants to make sure our arrival to Caracas doesn't seem suspicious.  He's flying us to Turkey and then to Caracas."

"This wouldn't happen if I planned the job."

"But this isn't your job to plan.  It's the CIA's."

"I think the CIA would be more efficient if I could run it."

"Oh, no," Sam said.  "If you were running the CIA, the Center for Intelligence would burn to the ground before you stepped inside their headquarters."

"And if you were running it, everyone would be drunk inside of it during the first hour."

"Guys, now is not the time for a fight.  We need to get on this plane or Max will find another guy to replace us.  Let's check in our bags."

When the three reached the airline check-in counter, Michael put one of Fiona's bags on the scale.

"Fi, what'd you put in here?"

"The usual.  Toiletries, clothes, substances you can carry into an airport without—"

"I think you shouldn't finish that sentence."

He put the other bag on the scale.

"Miss, you're only allowed to carry one bag under 50 pounds.  Since you're carrying two, that'll be 200 dollars," the ticketing counter agent said.

Michael looked at Fiona.  "Fi…"

Fiona shrugged.  "Isn't the CIA picking up the tab?"


	3. Istanbul Atatürk Airport

The flight from Miami to Turkey was late.  Michael and his team only had minutes to get from the gate they arrived at to get to their next flight, which would take them to San Juan.  Michael ran ahead of Sam and Fiona to try to make the flight.  While Sam couldn't run as fast as he used to when he was with the SEALS, Fiona was handicapped by the two bags of luggage she brought. 

By the time Michael reached the gate to the San Juan flight, the flight attendants were locking the door leading to the flight.

"Can you hold the flight?"  Michael was out of breath.  "My friends and I need to get on that flight."

"I'm sorry," the gate agent told Michael.  "I can't hold the flight any longer.  "We've been waiting for you for 30 minutes—way too long, in my opinion."

 "Our flight was late.  All the flights coming out of Miami are usually late.  Can't you cut us a break?"

"No.  But what I can do is reschedule you on a later flight to San Juan.  Unfortunately you'll have to fly to another airport to make this flight."

 

Fiona examined their new flight tickets after Sam and she caught up with Michael.

"Instead of flying straight to Costa Rica, now we have to fly to Madrid to get to Costa Rica to get to Caracas.  All this for what should've been at most, what, a two day flight?  And instead we're going to be flying around for a week?  This is the most romantic trip I've _ever_ taken, Michael."

Michael gave Fiona a half-hearted smile.


	4. Madrid–Barajas Airport

After looking around the duty free shop nearest to their new flight to Costa Rica, Sam went up to the clerk on duty in the shop.

"Excuse me, miss, I was wondering if you had any gin.  Like the stuff from Menorca.  I think it would make a great gift for me.  And my friends, wherever they went to.  Oh, man, what if they _both_ went to the bathroom?"

"I'm sorry.  We don't sell gin from Menorca here, sir.  All we have is Bombay Sapphire."

"I know that.  I looked around the store.  I wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything."

"Oh, okay."

"You got any Ron Montero rums?"

"No."

"How about any Brandy de Jerez?"

"Sorry, sir.  You'd have to travel outside the airport to get any of those liquors."

"So this Smirnoff Vodka and the Bombay Sapphire are the only spirits you sell in this duty-free shop."

"Yes, sir."

"I knew I should've stopped at the bar I passed earlier."


	5. Juan Santamaría International Airport → Simón Bolívar International Airport

"So you're telling me that if you book a flight late on this plane, you get nothing, even if it is a three hour flight."

"Yes, Mr.…"

"Call me Mr. Axe."

"Yes, Mr. Axe. You have to book a flight on this airline well in advance to receive a meal.  I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

"No food, no booze, not even water.  Not even a package of lousy peanuts."

"Yes."

"But I can watch a Spanish language dub of _Inception_ on my monitor for free."

"Yes."

"Can I eat the monitor?"


	6. The Caracas, Venezuela, Metropolitan Area of Sorts: Simón Bolívar International Airport → Baruta Municipality

A cab driver hired by Max held up a small sign that read MICHAEL WESTEN.  Michael and his team went to the cab driver.  

The cab driver told Michael, in Spanish, that he was there to drive Michael and his friends to their hotel.

Michael stared at him.  "Uh…what?"

Fiona jabbed Michael in his ribs.  "That's rude, Michael."  She turned to the cab driver.  _"¿Habla ingles?"_

"No."

"Okay." 

Fiona asked the driver to repeat what he said in Spanish.

"The driver said he'll be driving us to the hotel," Fiona told Michael.

"Oh."

"Are you ever going to brush up on your Spanish?"

"I'm busy, Fi."

Fiona glared at him.

 

The cab stopped two blocks from where the hotel, Hotel Quijote, was.

The cab driver opened the trunk and told them, in Spanish, they'd have to walk two blocks from where he stopped because of Max's instructions.  Michael nodded as the cab driver spoke and Fiona translated the cab driver's words to him.  He was nervous, but pretended not to be.

Then the cab driver mentioned the cab fare: 400 bolívares fuertes.

"Max can't even foot the cab fare for us?" Sam said.  "What a cheapskate."


	7. Hotel Quijote, night

"I guess I'll have to sleep in between the two of you."  Fiona pushed her way between Michael and Sam on the bed, a crappy king-sized one in the hotel's "honeymoon suite."

"No, it's okay if you don't want me in the bed with you two," Sam said.  "You two lovebirds take the bed.  I can sleep on the floor."

"No, I insist.  Stay in bed.  I want to make Michael think about the consequences he made when he decided to take shortcuts during our vacation."  The room was bugged; words like "job" and anything Fiona had to say about the CIA were banned.

"I get it, Fi.  You don't have to remind me why you hate this part of our vacation.  I promise I'll make it up to you when we get back home."

Fiona grabbed Sam's right shoulder and Michael's left shoulder.  She pulled them closer to her.  She shook her head and raised her eyebrows.  "You two don't know how miserable I am, do you?"  A grin appeared on her face.

Michael nodded.  "Oh, you're _very_ miserable."  He leaned into Fiona's neck with a smile.


End file.
